yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
