Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize