You smell like stripper and shame
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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