He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
