why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
