He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
