Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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