Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
