my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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