Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
