Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
