I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
