Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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