I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize