So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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