Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
