But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
