Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
