It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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