I think i sorta joined a cult last night
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
