Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
birth control should be required to get into college
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
