i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
