Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
