mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
