but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize
