Plan B is the new Plan A
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
this hospital has no fireball
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
