The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize