Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
