some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
