I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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