Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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