I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
