Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
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