he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
