he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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