Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize