i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize