first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
