i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
