he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
