Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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