OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize