I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Is it penis luge time yet?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
