My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
