Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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