He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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