Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
