I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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