She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize