If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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