"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
