bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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