shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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