In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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