yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
