So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
