So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
