can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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