i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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