is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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