Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize