I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
