If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
