Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
